Life Doesn't Fit into an Excel Spreadsheet




Hi Awesomesauce,


I hope your summer is hoppin'. I've got a minor update for ya.


This past year, my husband and I paused our lives in Chicago (not hard when the world is on pause anyway) and headed up to Northern Michigan to be with my mother and my father, who had recently started chemo for his stage 4 cancer. I wrangled a home studio (with a killer noise floor to boot! -87. I LOVE the boonies!) and began a work-from-home setup that consisted of recording by day—family care by night. My workload started to increase, I joined SAG-AFTRA, and I gained traction with new clients in my coaching. I felt so good about the work I was producing, and I high-fived the hell out myself that this was all happening right now.


Then- In early 2021, my dad took a turn. The workload that I had enjoyed all of a sudden dried up, and the only feedback I got from my auditions was automated rejections. I felt torn between networking opportunities like APAC and spending time with my family while trying to keep my career and my emotional stability. I couldn't commit to timelines, future projects, or potential meetups, and I felt SO MUCH FOMO watching the rest of the world begin to unfurl and recoup and celebrate... while I was meeting with Hospice.


In late May, my dad passed. Everything stopped. I was emotionally and physically reeling, and I felt too dizzy to find the ground.


After the spinning subsided, I looked back at all of my neatly carved out goals, which I had succinctly and cleverly named. I color coated those suckers within an inch of their life, and I failed every. Single. One.


Get ten new book contracts by July? Nope


Make connections with at least ten new CDs/Producers/Publishers? Nada.


Begin a marketing campaign for my 'Brand"? Not a single post.


It was hard for me not to look back and see all of the missed things. The "failures" The loss.


But the thing is, friendly friends - and the reason I write this - is that life doesn't fit into our pre-conceived plans and expectations, and usually, that's because it knows better.


And that is okay.


I'm not a failure because the universe or whatever decided that I needed a pause button for my work. It allowed me to spend the last few weeks of my dad's life chilling in our living room, drinking wine with my mom, and watching baseball.


I've connected and chatted with more people one on one, with meaningful conversations, than I would have in any glitchy APAC chat pod. It turns out many people have gone through this, and now I feel way less alone.


And to appease my inner imposter syndrome, I've connected with my incredible coach, who is making sure I am taking this time to improve my artistic skills and my business.


Were any of those things in my quarter two goals? No. Are they all wins anyway? Absolutely.


What I'm saying is It's not going to go to plan. The wins. The losses. The life of moves and moments. Leave room for the journey to be winding. Look up from the To-Do list occasionally. You're already more successful than you ever imagined, and it's only going up from here.


As always, I'm here if you need me. And I'm always rooting for you.




Talk to you soon.

BSW



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